“It’s a Miracle: Fathers”
Ephesians 5:25
Grace to you and peace from God our Father and from our Lord and Savior Jesus.
For decades, Sam Rayburn was one of the most powerful men in America. During his seventeen years as Speaker of the House of Representatives, the longest tenure of any Speaker of the House, presidents came and went, but Rayburn remained at the center of power. He alone controlled the legislative process in Washington. No bill came to a vote without his approval. No president could expect to succeed without his support.
Later in life, as he looked back on his long political career and remembered the most important moments of his life, (and there were many!), there was one experience, he said, that stood out above all the rest.
It happened one morning at a railroad station in East Texas, far from the marbled halls of Washington. It was a moment he would remember for the rest of his life.
It happened on a Texas prairie in 1900, as his father hitched the buggy and drove his 18-year-old son to town. Sam was going off to college and would leave the farm that his father, a poor man, had tilled all his life. And standing there together on that railway platform, father and son waited for the train. Sam’s “suitcase,” nothing more than a bundle of clothes tied with a rope, lay at his feet. Neither one said a word.
When the train finally arrived and Sam got ready to step on board, his father reached out and put a fistful of dollars into his hand. Twenty-five dollars.
Sam had no idea how his father had saved it. He never had any extra money. He barely earned enough to live. He said, “It broke me up, him handing me that $25. I often wondered what he had to do without, what sacrifices he and my mother must have made.”
With tears in his eyes, Sam turned to board the train. Again his father reached out and grasped his hands. And the four words he spoke would forever echo in his memory. He said, “Sam, be a man!”
On a day like this, Father’s Day, it’s good to ask, what’s a man? Sons want to be one. Fathers need to be one. So what’s a man?
Author Tom Chiarella offers some suggestions. He writes: “A man looks out for those around him—woman, friend, and stranger. A man looks out for children. He makes them stand behind him. A man gets the door without thinking. He stops traffic when he must. A man knows his tools and how to use them—just the ones he needs. He knows which saw is for what, how to find a stud, and when to use galvanized nails. He understands the basic mechanics of the planet. He can close one eye, look up at the sun, and tell you what time of day it is. Or where north is. He can tell you where you might find something to eat or where the fish run. He understands electricity, the internal-combustion engine, the mechanics of flight, and how to figure a pitcher’s ERA.
“A man stands watch. He interrupts trouble. This is the state policeman. This is the poet. Men, both of them.
“A man can tell you he was wrong. That he did wrong. He can tell you when he’s lost.
“A man watches. He’s like a zoo animal: both captive and free.”
And when you hear the words “real men,” who do you think of? Do you think of men like boxer, author and war hero Ernest Hemingway? Or how about Jason Statham? He’s starred in movies like The Transporter, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and The Expendables. He’s been called the Arnold Schwarzenegger of this generation. Or how about Liam Neeson or Sylvester Stallone?
Who do you think of when you hear the words “real men”?
As a teenaged boy once put it in the words of a poem: “What is a man? Is he someone who is strong and tall, or is taut and talented as he plays ball? Is he someone who is hardened and rough, who smokes and drinks and swears enough? Is he someone with a good business mind, who gets ahead of the others with his nose to the grind? Or is he someone who tries his best, not really caring about any of the rest? What is a man? Does anyone really know? TELL ME! Who is the prototype? To whom shall I go?”
It’s been said that real men are becoming extinct. Watch a sitcom, a movie or even commercials on TV. If there’s a family involved, the common theme is that the mom is holding everything together because, dad, (the bumbling fool that he is), can’t.
As one author put it: “He’s clever at times, but he’s usually not allowed to be smart. He has no idea that shortcuts make long delays. He’s lazy, gluttonous and has miscellaneous glaring vices. His children may love him, but they don’t respect him. And the only way he can show love and loyalty for his family is by fixing problems he caused himself.”
Think of Homer Simpson of The Simpsons, Al Bundy of Married with Children, Tim Taylor of Home Improvement and Hal Wilkerson of Malcolm in the Middle, and you know what I mean--dim-witted, blundering men who are far better at comic relief than they are as husbands or fathers.
Who and where is a real man, someone we can look up to, someone we can imitate, when we so desperately need to find one?
The answer is found in the words of the apostle Paul in his letter to the Ephesians. This is what he wrote: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her…cleansing her by the washing of water with the Word, so that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such things, that she might be holy and without blemish.”
Real men don’t leave their wives. Real men honor them as co-heirs. They teach their children God’s ways, not only by what they say, but by what they do. Real men build up the lives of other men. They don’t use words to demean others. They don’t let their anger get away from them.
Real men lead best when they love most. They’re sacrificial for the sake of the Lord, their family, and others. Real men can show their emotions. Real men serve.
Real men lead. They step up and make the tough decisions. They speak their mind and take responsibility for their actions and decisions. They say what they mean and mean what they say.
They’re sensitive to the wants and needs of those around them and passionate about the things they do.
Real men seek to be more and more like Jesus.
When we think of real men, we can’t help but think of our Savior Jesus. He was both a leader and a servant. He was incredibly bold and caringly gentle. He worked hard, loved all people and never deviated from what His Father sent Him to do.
When He was just a boy, the Bible says He “increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.” As He grew into manhood, He learned the carpentry trade and worked with His brothers and His father Joseph. When He was thirty, He became a teacher, travelling across Judea, Samaria and Galilee preaching, teaching, healing and training His disciples. He touched so many lives, John wrote that the world itself couldn’t contain the books that would be written.
And though He lived in a place and time that cared little for women, Jesus loved them and respected them. He even held them up as examples to follow.
Jesus loved children. When parents asked Him to bless them and the disciples tried to chase them away, He said, “Let the little children to come to Me, and forbid them not, for of such belongs the kingdom of God.” When they were sick, He healed them.
And as He lived and worked among us, He never took the easy way or walked the path of least resistance. When Peter rebuked Him for speaking of the cross, He rebuked Peter and said, “Get behind Me, Satan, for you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.”
And always, always, He showed the perfect balance between caring gentleness and masculine strength. He overturned tables in the temple and called Pharisees “white-washed tombs.” He comforted those who grieved.
There’s no one like our Savior Jesus.
One morning, a father and son sat down to eat at a local diner for breakfast. The son was in his thirties. The father was about eighty.
His face was lined with wrinkles and creases. His hair was a white, crumpled mess from the stocking cap he had just taken from his head. His red plaid shirt kept him warm.
The son started. “I really worked up a hunger today, Pop,” he said. “All that shoveling and sweeping will do that.”
“Yeah, that is somethin’,” said the old man.
Then an awkward silence.
Just then, two more came in—a mother and a teenage grandchild. The woman sat next to the younger man and the old man stood up to let his grandchild slide in place.
“It’s good to see you, dad!” she said.
“Yup!” the old man replied. Then more silence.
The waitress came and took their breakfast orders as the grandpa excused himself to the bathroom.
As soon as he was out of sight, the younger man said, “I don’t know what to say to him. We just sit here looking around. He never talks.”
“I know what you mean,” said the woman. “What do you say?”
Then the grandchild joined in. She said, “He’s old. What do you talk about with an old man?”
Just then, another man sitting in a booth right beside them spoke up. He said, “It’s none of my business, but I couldn’t help but overhear. Why don’t you ask him about his childhood? Can you even imagine what he’s seen in his lifetime? He’s not talking, because no one is asking. He’s a gold mine!” he said.
When the grandfather came back to the table, the grandchild was the first to speak. She said, “What was it like when you were young?”
The grandfather looked at her and, with a twinkle in his eye, began to speak. And for the next twenty minutes, he was in his glory. It was as if he was on stage and the play he was acting was his life story.
When he was done, he said, “You have no idea what this has meant to me. All these years, I never thought you cared to hear what I had to say.”
And as he wrung his life-worn hands together, he said, “Ever since Ma died, I really had nothing to say. She and I were like a song. I made the music and she was the words.” And he said, “No sense talkin’ if you ain’t got the words.”
And in that moment, that family, sitting in a diner, caught a glimpse of a real man.
Are fathers perfect? Not a chance. Never have been and never will be. But we can lead our children to the One who is perfect—God, our heavenly Father. And by His grace, and only by His grace, we can be what He’s called us to be, for Jesus’ sake.
Dear Father in heaven, we thank You for calling us to believe in Your Son, Jesus. Forgive us for the countless times we’ve sinned against You and grant that, by Your grace, we may be the Christian fathers, husbands, brothers and sons You have called us to be, for Jesus’ sake. Amen